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Commentary:
"Imagine the romance, the passion, the missed opportunities zipping by like trains in the night! 🚄💔 Don't worry, love may not be on track yet, but at least you'll always have the speeding ticket of your heart! ❤️😂"

activity, away, country, cross, cross country, dating, existed, fun, fun activity, high-speed, high-speed rail, lovers, opportunity, rail, relationships, think, transportation, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

1 month ago
addicted, addiction, bad, bad posture, body, body position, comfortable, humor, position, posture, shrimp, sit, sitting, why
Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

1 month ago
avocado, diet, food, humor, January, lifestyle, protein, protein shake, shake, syrup, toast, transformation, tree, vegetable, whole
That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

1 month ago
brains, fear, humor, irony, moment, past, situation, surprise, walking, walks, zombie
OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

1 month ago
clarity, clear, communication, eyewear, glasses, going, humor, just, ok, put
It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

1 month ago
absurdity, age, born, certificate, crazy, i, identity, just, me, need, proof, prove
My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

1 month ago
admission, future, help, humor, i, just, me, mean, mistake, panic, question, relationship, wife

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

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Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

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“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

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Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Just landed via Threads:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

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Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

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Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

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Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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