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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,414

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Breaking via Instagram:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's one epic road trip! 🚗💉 Hopefully, there's a rest stop at the lymph nodes! 😂🌎

beautiful, blood, blood cell, body, car, cell, feel, humor, road, road trip, sick, through, travel, trip, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

0

1 month ago

accident, accidentally, asked, cafe, humor, i, interaction, leftist, milk, normal, said, social, social interaction, speech, wanted
I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

0

4 weeks ago

absolutely, am, bit, humor, i, irony, motivation, rain, rainy, unstoppable, weather
Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

0

2 months ago

better, check, Christmas, getting, gift, holiday, hope, humor, list, media, naughty, Santa, social, social media, therapy, us, wish, wish list
My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

0

2 months ago

card, frustration, gift, gift card, give, humor, left, limits, metaphor, much, patience, sure, try, uncertainty
You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

0

2 months ago

affection, gift, humor, humor quote, light-hearted, metaphor, playful, romantic, sensitive, wind
I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

0

2 months ago

aging, eye, eyes, eyesight, getting, humor, i, joke, just, perception, self-deprecating, smaller, thought, worse, wrinkle, wrinkles

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

47 shares on Slack this month:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

10 shares on Telegram this month:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

29 shares on Slack this month:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

34 shares on Slack this month:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

95 shares on Slack this month:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Going viral on Slack:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Just shared via X:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Spreading quickly via X:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Breaking via Threads:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Broadcasted on Slack:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Breaking via Messenger:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨