30 funny sick quotes - Wordgag

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

May 23, 2026

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

May 23, 2026

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

May 23, 2026

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

May 23, 2026

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

May 22, 2026

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

May 22, 2026

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

May 21, 2026May 21, 2026

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

May 21, 2026

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

May 21, 2026

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

May 20, 2026

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

May 19, 2026

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

Apr 2, 2026

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Apr 1, 2026

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Apr 1, 2026

I am sick and tired of going to the bathroom. It’s been forty years. It should all be out by now.

Apr 1, 2026

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Mar 31, 2026

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Mar 31, 2026

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Mar 31, 2026

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Mar 31, 2026

I’m sick of living through history!

Mar 30, 2026

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Mar 30, 2026

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Mar 29, 2026

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Mar 29, 2026

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Mar 28, 2026

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Mar 28, 2026

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Mar 28, 2026

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Mar 27, 2026

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Mar 27, 2026

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Mar 27, 2026

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Mar 26, 2026