Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Going viral on Facebook:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Trending via TikTok:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Seen just now on Discord:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Going viral on Slack:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Trending via Pinterest:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Weekend: the ultimate prank where you think you're going to relax, but instead it's just a 48-hour existential crisis! 😂😴🤯"

anxiety, anxious, day, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, irony, leisure, relaxation, scam, spend, stress, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

0

2 months ago

audio, boredom, entertainment, going, hour, humor, misunderstanding, movie, over, plane, seatmate, thanks, understanding, watching
Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

0

3 months ago

acting, ask, asking, behavior, circus, clown, going, humor, keep, keeps, self-reflection, stop, why, yourself
What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

0

2 months ago

again, ankle, experience, humor, incident, mosquito, never, night, tonight
Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

0

2 months ago

adventure, humor, misunderstanding, ride, sunset
Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

0

2 weeks ago

dating, easily, humor, i, joke, meet, meet up, men, plan, relationship, sacrifice, too, want, warning
Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

0

4 months ago

again, alone, awkward, awkward moment, bowling, funny situation, humor, imagine, moment, self entertainment, sit, situation, turn, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on WeChat this month:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

81 shares on X this month:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

95 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

63 shares on X this month:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I run a parody bank account.

Seen just now on Telegram:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Going viral on Twitch:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Going viral on WeChat:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Live now on WeChat:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨