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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,239

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Just shared via Twitch:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Freshly posted on X:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Making waves on Twitch:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

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Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?
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Commentary:
"Weekend: the ultimate prank where you think you're going to relax, but instead it's just a 48-hour existential crisis! 😂😴🤯"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

75 shares on Slack this month:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,260

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Spotted on Discord:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Breaking via Snapchat:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Going viral on Reddit:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Making waves on YouTube:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Just shared via Instagram:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

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