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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Trending via WeChat:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Making waves on Facebook:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Spotted on YouTube:

The future is buffering.

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

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Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.
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Commentary:
"Step right up and witness the extraordinary spectacle of confidence outweighing accuracy on the grand stage of the internet! 🎪🤣 Don't worry, if you're feeling lost in this swirling sea of misinformation, you're not alone! 🌊🙈 Just remember: the internet is the only place where you can be confidently wrong 24/7! 🌐😜"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

84 shares on X this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

11 shares on Slack this month:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Making waves on Messenger:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Going viral on Instagram:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Just landed via X:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Trending via Threads:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

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