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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,048

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Trending via Telegram:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Spotted on WeChat:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Going viral on Discord:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Spotted on Twitch:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sounds like the grass is ghosting you 🌱💔😂"

grass, humor, maybe, me, nature, once, personification, sarcasm, should, touch, well, whimsy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

1 month ago

daily, daily grind, every, gently, grind, health, humor, humor quote, mental, mental health, mistake, motivation, over, past, perseverance, reflection, resilience, rise, self-awareness, self-improvement, teeth, while
Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

1 month ago

anything, ever, frustration, hot, humor, i, irony, lawsuits, me, misunderstanding, rage, revelation, show, Suits, television, wear, white
Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

5 months ago

bend, bending, bending over, humor, invention, men, over, pool, pool table, table, tables, watch
Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

2 months ago

attitude, comeback, compass, disrespect, humor, i, me, moral, moral compass, respond, response
This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

1 month ago

airport, baby, crying, crying baby, delay, even, flight, frustration, going, here, humor, i, just, know, live, long flight, patience, travel, where
I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

1 month ago

bacon, food, health, humor, i, me, much, never, overeating, say, self-awareness, terms, think, thought, too, while

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Just shared via Messenger:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Just shared via X:

Life is weird and then you die.

Spotted on Telegram:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Spotted on TikTok:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Seen just now on Discord:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

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Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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