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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,996

Funny Quotes Topics

13,938

Funny Quotes Images

10,996

3 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Spotted on Telegram:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Just shared via Threads:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Trending via Pinterest:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Just landed via Discord:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

6 months ago

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal conundrum of cat behavior! 🐱 Is it a daring leap of faith like a first cat life, or a reckless daredevil act like a ninth cat life? The line between curiosity and catastrophe is as thin as a hairball on a tightrope! 😅"

am, behavior, calculation, cat, cat life, decision making, humor, i, life, myself, risk, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,996

Funny Quotes Topics

13,938

Funny Quotes Images

10,996

3 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Just landed via Messenger:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Going viral on Instagram:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Freshly posted on X:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Just landed via Twitch:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

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