Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,827

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Going viral on Pinterest:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Just landed via Telegram:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Shared recently on WeChat:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Spotted on Instagram:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Making waves on YouTube:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When I bark at a dog, all I can think is: 'Did I just ask him to do my taxes?' 🐶🗂️❓"

always, animal, bark, barking, communication, dog, humor, i, misunderstanding, pet, said, something, worry, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

1 month ago
awkwardness, care, die, humor, i, life, live, love, me, noticed, relationship, sarcasm, together, uninterested
A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

1 month ago
activity, agree, app, concept, dating, dating app, fight, fun, fun activity, funny concept, humorous, humorous idea, idea, meet, meet up, relationship, unhinged, where
Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

1 month ago
40s, adulthood, after, best, best part, car, comfort, day, heated, heated seat, humor, life, life transition, long day, seat, seats, transition, welcome
If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

1 month ago
around, bit, entertainment, flight, fly, humor, movie, notification, pick, pilot, time, travel
None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

1 month ago
font, fonts, humor, identity, Instagram, me, media, none, self-expression, social, social media, story
Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

2 months ago
bro, casual, casual conversation, confess, confession, conversation, humor, love, love confession, me, playful, relationship, romance

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Making waves on Messenger:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Breaking via Pinterest:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Spotted on WeChat:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏