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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Spotted on Facebook:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Trending via TikTok:

Windmill? Big fan.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Revenge may be sweet, but laughter doesn't come with jail time! 😄🔨

best, humor, joke, laughter, medicine, never, revenge, said, saying, tried

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

0

2 months ago

body, frustration, hate, health, humor, i, illness, last, sick, vegetable, week
Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

0

3 months ago

communication, days, definitely, humor, life, married, married life, me, misunderstanding, never, only, partner, relationship, repetition, row, same, say, sentence, telling, told
Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, comfort, coming, home, own, pleasure, sheer, talking, using, vacation, why
Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

0

2 months ago

beats, having, hip-hop, humor, kids, lo-fi, millennial, millennials, parenting, yell
The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

0

2 months ago

another, employment, finding, humor, i, job, problem, want, work
Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

0

2 months ago

cowboy, dressing, fashion, humor, outfits, puns, ranch, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Threads this month:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

83 shares on X this month:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Live now on X:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Spotted on WeChat:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Just shared via Threads:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Trending via Twitch:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨