Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Just shared via Reddit:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Just shared via Reddit:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Just shared via Messenger:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Just shared via Telegram:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Spotted on Threads:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When did coffee become a food group? ☕️🍽️😄

ask, breakfast, coffee, conversation, daily, daily routine, eating, girl, humor, i, routine, say

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

0

2 months ago

being, end, family, food, forget, forgetfulness, hidden, hiding, humor, i, kid, me, parenting, parenting struggle, problem, snacks, struggle, too
Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

0

1 month ago

hate, honesty, humor, i, insult, liar, only, sarcasm, stupid, stupidity, thing
Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

0

2 months ago

computer, duct, duct tape, humor, life, problems, reboot, rest, solution, tape
If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

0

2 months ago

connection, dinner, eating, everyone, food, humor, i, know, lifestyle, media, rid, sharing, social, social media
I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

0

2 months ago

bigger, bigger problems, comparison, creativity, honesty, humor, i, new, problems, quaint, sarcasm, solutions, solve
Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

0

2 weeks ago

boredom, dry, dying, food, frustration, game, gaming, house, humor, hunger, i, keep, loser, losing, phone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Making waves on Snapchat:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Seen just now on Threads:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Trending via YouTube:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨