Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Just shared via Twitch:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Just shared via Slack:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Spotted on Twitch:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Breaking via Messenger:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Trending via Discord:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, I've reached my "mature and wise" age level, please stop all that youthful energy before it overwhelms my arthritis 😂🧓✨

25, advice, age, around, humor, interaction, just, me, sarcasm, social, social interaction, under, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

0

2 months ago

asked, day, eat, family, food, holiday, home, humor, i, joke, me, meal, mom, mother, relationship, sarcasm, taking, told, where
How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

0

5 months ago

couple, humor, irony, love, married, need, ones, people, relationship, single
I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

0

2 months ago

arrow, back, before, choice, decision, experience, hit, humor, i, internet, just, leave, me, navigation, page, said, technology, user, user experience, website
The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

0

2 months ago

affection, endearment, humor, i, nickname, relationship
I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

0

2 months ago

ambition, crazy, halfway, humor, rich, self-awareness, wealth
I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

0

2 months ago

communication, face, humor, i, love, people, punching, sarcasm, wit, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

36 shares on X this month:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

79 shares on X this month:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Shared recently on Threads:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Just shared via X:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Shared recently on YouTube:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Shared recently on Threads:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨