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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Just shared via WeChat:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Live now on Threads:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Making waves on Slack:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh no, I've reached my "mature and wise" age level, please stop all that youthful energy before it overwhelms my arthritis 😂🧓✨

25, advice, age, around, humor, interaction, just, me, sarcasm, social, social interaction, under, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

0

2 months ago

exhaustion, feeling, hobby, humor, rest, sleeping
Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

0

2 months ago

adventure, back, coming, enjoyment, going, going out, home, point, relaxation, returning, savor, sometimes, whole
British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

0

2 months ago

British, cultural, downstairs, humor, jump, jumping, just, Mary, Mary Poppins, never, open, people, poppins, stereotype, umbrella, whimsical, window
Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

0

2 months ago

bullied, bully, cartoon, cat, cats, dog, dogs, jerry, me, misconception, opposite, reality, thinking, tom
I put the mess in domestic.

0

2 months ago

chaos, domestic, household, humor, i, mess, put, wit
The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

0

2 months ago

comedy, envelopes, finance, humor, IRS, needs, paperwork, special, ta, trouble

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

67 shares on Discord this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

68 shares on X this month:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

69 shares on X this month:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

35 shares on X this month:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Going viral on Reddit:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Making waves on Slack:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Going viral on Instagram:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Spotted on YouTube:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Breaking via X:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Seen just now on Slack:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Just landed via Twitch:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

I put the mess in domestic.

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨