45 funny under quotes - Wordgag

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

May 30, 2026

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

May 30, 2026

Being a baby in a stroller under the plastic cover when it’s raining must be a major vibe.

May 29, 2026

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

May 29, 2026

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

May 29, 2026

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

May 29, 2026

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

May 29, 2026

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

May 29, 2026

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

May 29, 2026

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

May 29, 2026

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

May 29, 2026

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

May 28, 2026

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

May 28, 2026

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

May 28, 2026

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

May 28, 2026

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

May 28, 2026

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

May 27, 2026

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

May 27, 2026

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

May 27, 2026

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

May 27, 2026

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

May 27, 2026

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

May 26, 2026

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

May 25, 2026

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

May 24, 2026

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

May 24, 2026

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

May 24, 2026

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

May 24, 2026

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

May 24, 2026

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

May 24, 2026

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

May 24, 2026

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

May 24, 2026

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

May 24, 2026

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

May 23, 2026

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

May 23, 2026

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

May 23, 2026

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

May 23, 2026

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

May 23, 2026

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

May 23, 2026

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

May 23, 2026

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

May 22, 2026