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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,814

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Trending via Telegram:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Making waves on Instagram:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Going viral on X:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Seen just now on X:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you walk into Target and feel like you’re on an episode of 'Undercover Shoplifter' 😂🕵️‍♂️🚫 #WalmartAtHeart"

awkward, awkwardness, cause, comparison, ever, feel, humor, know, retail, shopping, situation, social, social situation, store, store comparison, Target, Walmart

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

4 months ago
disappointment, entertainment, finish, help, humor, looking, movie, name, Netflix, search, spelling, streaming, tell
The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

1 month ago
abstinence, effective, effectiveness, humor, protection, safety, sun, sun protection, sunscreen
I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

1 month ago
airline, choice, choices, entertainment, humor, i, in-flight, in-flight movie, movie, nostalgia, remember, travel, watch
I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

1 month ago
condition, humor, ignore, joke, name, relationship, sarcasm, term, terms
“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

1 month ago
advice, bias, cognitive, cognitive bias, decision, decision making, follow, heart, humor, making, self-awareness, sort, yourself
I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

2 months ago
Bitcoin, boyfriend, candle, dame, funny moment, God, humor, i, lit, moment, notre, Notre Dame, order, Paris, price, relationship, request

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Breaking via Threads:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Seen just now on Threads:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Trending via Threads:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Making waves on Messenger:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Seen just now on Discord:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

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Activity Log ✨

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

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You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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