Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Seen just now on YouTube:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Seen just now on Threads:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Live now on Threads:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Shared recently on Instagram:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Trending via Facebook:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

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You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.
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Commentary:
"Guess it's time to face the music 🎶… and maybe pick up some kale while I'm at it! 🥬😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on X this month:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m ready to try another planet.

88 shares on X this month:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

19 shares on Slack this month:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

74 shares on Threads this month:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Making waves on Instagram:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Trending via X:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Going viral on Discord:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

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