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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Spotted on YouTube:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Live now on Telegram:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Just shared via Telegram:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Just landed via WeChat:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

0
You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.
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Commentary:
Looks like I've been stuck in the ragebaiting Stone Age while everyone else is vagueposting into the future 🚀😅 #CatchUpGameStrong

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

26 shares on WeChat this month:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

97 shares on Discord this month:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

68 shares on Slack this month:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Broadcasted on Facebook:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Trending via Facebook:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Trending via Instagram:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Making waves on Threads:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Freshly posted on Discord:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Just shared via Reddit:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Making waves on Threads:

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

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