Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.
  • Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.
  • It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.
  • I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.
  • If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.
  • I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.