Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.
  • Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.
  • Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.
  • Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.
  • Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.
  • I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.