Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.
  • I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.
  • I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
  • Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.
  • If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.
  • That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.