Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.
  • My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
  • An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.
  • That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.
  • It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.
  • Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.