Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!
  • I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.
  • How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?
  • God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.
  • Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.
  • The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.