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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,789

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Going viral on Messenger:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Shared recently on Threads:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Seen just now on YouTube:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Just shared via Slack:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Just landed via Facebook:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
🤣😂 Well, when it comes to secrets, silence is definitely golden… unless your friends have already mined those nuggets! 💎🙊

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

4 weeks ago

bedtime, charge, humor, i, life, mess, own, put, responsibility, self-control
You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

4 weeks ago

boyfriend, breakup, humor, relationship, stuff, throw, throwing, window, woman, women
I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

1 month ago

backyard, beginnings, buried, fertilize, humor, new, new beginnings, past, ready, relationship, tomat
You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

4 weeks ago

buddy, comparison, genre, groove, humor, music, music genre, musical, musical skill, playful, playful tease, remark, rhythm, sarcasm, skill, swing, tease, witty, witty remark
Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

4 weeks ago

appetite, big, craving, food, forget, forklift, fun, humor, i, joke, joke about food, mini, needs, oversized, pizza, want
I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

1 month ago

age, am, decay, humor, i, life, old, perspective, prime, wit

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Spotted on Instagram:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Just landed via TikTok:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Trending via YouTube:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Spotted on Discord:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Going bananas on X:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Spotted on Reddit:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

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Activity Log ✨

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

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A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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