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All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

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When your hand can't decide between a dumbbell and a bag of chips ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ˜‹

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When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

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Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

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My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

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The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

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You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

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What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

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My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

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Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

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FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

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How do I un-know people?