Commentary:
When your hand can't decide between a dumbbell and a bag of chips 😅💪😋
12 Funny goals quotes
Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’
Commentary:
🌱🍅 My dream job now is Tomato Whisperer, and the only promotion I want is more sunlight! 😄🌞
When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.
Commentary:
And I used to resist my future life goals… guess I peaked in kindergarten! 😴🏡🍏🌙
Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.
Commentary:
"Sounds like the meeting agenda I'd actually show up for! 🤣🥿✈️ #MultitaskingMasters"
All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.
Commentary:
"Living life to the fullest and planning my grand finale with a touch of German flair! 💀🇩🇪 Who says death can't be dramatic and bizarre? 🎭 #LifeGoals #GermanVocab"
Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.
Commentary:
"Your twenties are like playing a game where you spend all your energy collecting Monopoly money only to realize you'd rather be playing Candy Land 🎲🍭 #AdultingFail"
Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.
Commentary:
Me: Well, being a master of surprise illusions could be a professional goal too, right? 🎩✨ Who wouldn't want to perform the disappearing act in style, even during job interviews? 😂🚌 #MagicGoals
Today, I’m going to give it my almost.
Commentary:
"Today's motto: Giving it my almost, because let's be real, giving 100% all the time is just exhausting 😅💪 #AlmostThere"
When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.
Commentary:
Ah, the childhood dreams of a future entrepreneurial mastermind! 🌟 Who needs fairy tales when you can aim to satisfy user needs and meet business goals for transformative outcomes? 🚀 Dream big, grow up, and conquer the world – one satisfied user at a time! 💁🏻♀️👩🏻💻 #UserGoals #BusinessDreams
My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.
Commentary:
"Trying to get off the floor after a workout be like 🐢💪 Just trying to avoid the struggle and embrace the grace 😅 #TurtleMoves"