Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Shared recently on X:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Trending via Instagram:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Just shared via Twitch:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Just shared via Discord:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

0
And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, isn't that the eternal question of life's mysteries – to clean or not to clean? 🤔🧹 Perhaps we should invent self-cleaning houses and save ourselves the trouble! 😅🏠After all, why bother dusting when it magically reappears the next day? #NeverEndingBattle ✨🤷‍♂️

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

65 shares on X this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,403

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Shared recently on Threads:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Making waves on Reddit:

Oh good. Another day.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Making waves on Facebook:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Making waves on Facebook:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Just shared via Instagram:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴