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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,499

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Just landed via Snapchat:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Trending via Twitch:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Breaking via Facebook:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Shared recently on Instagram:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Making waves on Telegram:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Shared recently on Discord:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

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And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”
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Commentary:
Well, isn't that the eternal question of life's mysteries – to clean or not to clean? 🤔🧹 Perhaps we should invent self-cleaning houses and save ourselves the trouble! 😅🏠After all, why bother dusting when it magically reappears the next day? #NeverEndingBattle ✨🤷‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

75 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

68 shares on WeChat this month:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

93 shares on X this month:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

46 shares on X this month:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Just shared via TikTok:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Live now on Threads:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Trending via YouTube:

I like you because we hate the same people.

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