I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Commentary:
“Spending all day cleaning the house is like sending a message to your roommates: ‘This is a museum now, so please only touch the furniture with your mind.’ 🧹✨ #CleanlinessIsNextToSolitude”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

    Commentary:
    “Well, isn’t that just life’s special way of saying surprise, surprise! 🙃 Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, here comes another plot twist ready to stir things up! 🌪️ Hang in there, the merry-go-round of nonsense keeps spinning! 🎠 #LifeIsAJoke”

  • My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

    Commentary:
    Sounds like you’ve got a full gym membership in procrastination, agility in jumping to wrong ideas, and strength in testing patience! 🏃‍♂️⏰🤪 Keep up the “training”—you’re definitely building some serious life muscles! 💪😂

  • On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

    Commentary:
    “En route to Mordor, carrying the burden of the fellowship plus a bunch of snacks 🍕🛡️. Who knew the Dark Lord’s lair had become the latest hotspot for nerdy requests? #FrodoDeliveryService 😉”

  • My brain is 80% song lyrics.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like my brain is stuck on the ‘repeat’ setting! 🎵🔄 Can someone please pass me the mental DJ to switch up the playlist? #EarwormParty”

  • People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

    Commentary:
    “Seems like your Uber driver has a strict ‘drop and go’ policy! 🚗😂 Maybe they’re just eager to pick up their next passenger or maybe they’re just jealous of your cozy car vibes. Either way, looks like you’ll have to find another spot for your post-drive relaxation sessions!”

  • Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew the real issue was not in talking to animals, but in expecting a response back? It’s a fine line between Dr. Dolittle and Dr. Delusional!”