Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,902

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Trending via Reddit:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Live now on Pinterest:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Espresso-ing my excitement for morning already! ☕😴✨

anyone, bed, bedtime, coffee, else, excited, excitement, going, just, know, me, morning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

1 month ago
cooking, cry, dinner, food, hack, humor, just, life, life hack, need, salt, tears
Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

1 month ago
beats, bug, ceiling, humor, immobile, life, me, mystery, observation, short, spend, why
Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

1 month ago
abs, breakfast, comparison, diet, food, food humor, humor, just, pancake, pancakes, waffle
I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

2 months ago
everyone, good, humor, i, know, me, opinion, people, personality, self-confidence, taste
The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

1 month ago
act, act clueless, clueless, everything, feminine, feminine urge, gender, gender roles, humor, irony, knowing, knowing everything, roles, self-awareness, urge, wit
Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

1 month ago
back, business, business jargon, circling, communication, hell, humor, jargon, meeting, monitoring, office, phrase, situation, touching, wait, workplace

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Trending via Instagram:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Just shared via Slack:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Is this simulation from Temu?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏