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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,387

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Making waves on Threads:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Shared recently on Instagram:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Making waves on Slack:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Funny quote about seasonal coziness and forgetfulness while making tea.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of "tea inception" – making tea, getting distracted, and discovering a forgotten cup hours later! 🍵🍂 Don't worry, your tea will just have extra time to steep and become even more flavorful. Just make sure to remember where you left it this time! 😉 #TeaTimeDejavu

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on X this month:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

65 shares on Messenger this month:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

64 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

50 shares on Threads this month:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I probably think this song is about me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Trending via X:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Going bananas on Threads:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Live now on Messenger:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Going viral on TikTok:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Making waves on YouTube:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Spotted on Reddit:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Making waves on X:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

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