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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
“When life gives you sass, respond with class 😏🤯 #SarcasmVersusDiplomacy”

before, born, comedy, conversation, disbelief, frustration, honesty, humor, irony, never, sarcasm, say, stupid, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

0

2 months ago

accident, billboard, car, distraction, drive, driving, humor, irony, reading, safety, said, text, texting
I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

0

2 months ago

aging, confidence, gray, gray hair, hair, highlight, humor, wisdom
The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

0

2 months ago

craving, eating, embarrassing, embarrassment, food, humor, i, just, kind, spend, thinking, time
People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

0

4 weeks ago

food, give, humor, importance, important, me, people, pickle, sharing
Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

0

2 months ago

addiction, consequences, drug, drug tests, drugs, humor, irony, lif, ruin, society, tests
Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

0

2 months ago

communication, conflict, enemy, great, humor, internet, media, new, relationship, sarcasm, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

42 shares on Threads this month:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

57 shares on X this month:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

73 shares on Discord this month:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

24 shares on Slack this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

87 shares on Discord this month:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Trending via Telegram:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Just shared via Discord:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Just landed via Discord:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Spotted on YouTube:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Live now on TikTok:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Shared recently on Slack:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Just landed via TikTok:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Making waves on Telegram:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨