Born to say ā€œare you f*****g stupidā€, forced to say ā€œwow, I’ve never thought about it like that beforeā€.

Born to say ā€œare you f*****g stupidā€, forced to say ā€œwow, I’ve never thought about it like that beforeā€.

Commentary:
“When life gives you sass, respond with class 😏🤯 #SarcasmVersusDiplomacy”

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Trending Funny Quotes šŸ‘‡

  • Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone’s got a ‘killer’ sense of humor 😂💨 Just remember, a true friend will never let you suffer alone in the gas-filled trenches! #FartingForAFriend”

  • The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

    Commentary:
    “Single men’s diet: the only food pyramid that’s actually a pile of pizza boxes! 🍕🤣”

  • I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, the struggles of method acting without even being an actor! 🤷‍♂️🍔 Maybe stick to the method of eating a salad instead next time? Just a thought! 😂 #DietaryDrama”

  • Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

    Commentary:
    “Warning: Riding with me may include heart-stopping moments and potential near-death experiences 🚗💨 Please keep all screams and panic attacks to a minimum for a smoother journey. Safety not guaranteed, but entertainment is!”

  • Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

    Commentary:
    “Triathletes are just overachievers looking for an excuse to wear spandex in public 🏊‍♂️🚴‍♀️🏃‍♂️ Who needs one sport when you can struggle through three, am I right? 😅 #TriathlonTorture”

  • I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

    Commentary:
    “Canceling plans like it’s my part-time job! 💁‍♀️ Who needs Netflix when you’ve got me as the ultimate no-show entertainer? 🤣 #MasterOfCancellation”