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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Trending via Snapchat:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Breaking via Instagram:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Breaking via Slack:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Who needs a date when you've got a hot pizza and a cozy 8:30 bedtime? 🍕😴❤️

bed, bedtime, canceling, canceling date, cancelling, care, date, early, early night, humor, i, night, order, pizza, relaxation, self, self-care

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

1 month ago

avoid, avoid idiot, book, books, coffee, daily, daily routine, drink, humor, idiot, idiots, lifestyle, productivity, read, read book, repeat, routine, self-care
Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

1 month ago

age, children, dental, humor, milk, new, older, teeth, useful, usefulness, wisdom
I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

1 month ago

asked, dad, equality, family, favorite, favorite joke, humor, i, joke, love, parenting, pick, sister
“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

4 weeks ago

celebrity, great, humor, irony, nothing, Oxymoron, real, reality, reality TV, satire, show, TV, TV Show
I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

1 month ago

2, being, bigger, bigger person, diabetes, health, humor, i, irony, me, person, self-deprecation, type, type 2 diabetes
At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

1 month ago

alien, dating, expectation, humor, i, irony, life, love, meet, point, relationship, sure, zombie

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Never trust a wet fart.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Live now on TikTok:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Just landed via TikTok:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

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Activity Log ✨

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

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Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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