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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Just landed via TikTok:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Trending via Slack:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Spotted on Instagram:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Breaking via X:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Spotted on YouTube:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Trending via Twitch:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Spotted on TikTok:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about relying on the husband for everything, with a humorous and witty vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like someone unlocked the "husband hotline" feature on their relationship plan! 📞🤔🤣

ask, call, communication, humor, husband, let, me, overuse, phone, phone call, phrase, relationship, said, wait

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

2 days ago

amusing, comedy, emotional, emotional support, form, friends, friendship, humor, humorist, lighthearted, sad, sadness, social, support
Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

2 weeks ago

brand, excited, excitement, humor, motivation, new, procrastination, sarcasm, self sabotage, super, week
No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

18 hours ago

awkwardness, eye, eyes, humor, just, no rizz, pretty, pretty eye, rizz, say, self-deprecating, thing, things, unsettling, unsettling thing
For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

6 days ago

away, dark, dark humor, expense, financial, humor, i, joke, money, passing, reasons
So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

5 days ago

ball, frustration, humor, me, mean, miscommunication, people, stress, stress ball, tell, throwing
They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.

11 hours ago

calling, employee, humor, joke, me, month, unemployee, unemployment, work

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Slack this month:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

23 shares on X this month:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Just shared via Telegram:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Just landed via Twitch:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Live now on Snapchat:

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨