Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,239

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Freshly posted on X:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Making waves on Facebook:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Live now on Slack:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the aliens give likes faster than light speed 🌌👽💡

algorithm, alien, aliens, benevolence, benevolent, dear, extraterrestrial, humor, media, only, please, post, request, show, social, social media

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

2 months ago

attitude, humor, i, lord, me, mouth, office, oh, prayers, sarcasm, sass, today, work
“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

2 months ago

anxiety, around, awkwardness, comfortable, communication, humor, quiet, sarcasm, social, social anxiety, thanks
I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

2 months ago

always, catchphrase, expression, humor, i, surprise, whoop
People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

2 months ago

bullet, catch, challenge, humor, joke, people, practice, skill, teeth
You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

2 months ago

fireplace, humor, irony, lazy, naming, never, person, procrastination
I am half agony, half hope.

2 months ago

agony, am, contrast, emotion, half, hope, humor, i, irony, struggle, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Slack this month:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

32 shares on Slack this month:

My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.

42 shares on Threads this month:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Just landed via TikTok:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Just shared via Threads:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Just landed via YouTube:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Spotted on Twitch:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Going viral on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

I am half agony, half hope.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨