Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Going viral on Threads:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Making waves on Telegram:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess you found the secret to caffeine-based hydration! 🥤😄

bar, coke, diet, Diet Coke, doing, drinking, dry, Dry January, humor, January, joke, mocktail, sobriety, soda

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

2 months ago

being, day, destiny, digital, digital life, humor, life, modern, modern life, phone, screen, screen time, sometimes, technology, time
Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

2 months ago

ago, apartment, days, disappearance, done, door, event, gone, humor, ignored, ignoring, mystery, small, small door, three, unexpected, unexpected event
Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

2 months ago

anything, boundary, food, good, humor, i, love, lyrics, means, meatloaf, music, music reference, reference, relationship, safe, safe word, word
You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

5 months ago

conversation, got, humor, i, know, left, people, person, talking, tap, time, video, while, wish
Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

2 months ago

attraction, complicated, dating, flirting, humor, relationships, right, single, things, where
The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

3 months ago

diet, fitness, gain, humor, i, joke, self-deprecation, thing, weight, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

52 shares on X this month:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

46 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

26 shares on X this month:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Just shared via Threads:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Freshly posted on Discord:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Going viral on YouTube:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Going viral on WeChat:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Going viral on Twitch:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨