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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

This gingerbread house isnโ€™t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

No one my age is single because theyโ€™re all unhappily married.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Threads:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Shared recently on Slack:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, โ€œLetโ€™s end this little charade.โ€

Spotted on Discord:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Going viral on Messenger:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you donโ€™t have to worry about running into someone you donโ€™t want to talk to.

Making waves on Discord:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Spotted on Telegram:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Trending via X:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting peopleโ€™s grammar online is still free.

Spotted on TikTok:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Witty quote about the challenge of doing nothing, highlighting the humor in feeling unfinished.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of doing nothing… It's a real challenge when you're not sure if you've truly mastered the art of idleness ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ’ค Who knew being unproductive could be so perplexing? Perhaps we should all aim to be 'un-done' like a half-baked cake! ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ˜‚"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didnโ€™t mean it the first time.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sexual tension between me and the person Iโ€™m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

That โ€œmeeting canceledโ€ ping is a gift from the Gods.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Canโ€™t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Trying to explain to my cat why she canโ€™t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybodyโ€™s phone numbers?

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I have so many mood swings, Iโ€™m basically a swing now.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Donโ€™t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now itโ€™s working.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

I be outside telling people I donโ€™t got social media when they ask.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going bananas on YouTube:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My nickname in high school was โ€œwho?โ€

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People who donโ€™t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Seen just now on Threads:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Going viral on Instagram:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Going viral on Instagram:

And for my next trick, Iโ€™m going to make this first date the last date.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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