Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.
  • Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.
  • I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.
  • My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.
  • I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.
  • I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.