Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Going bananas on Messenger:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Just shared via Reddit:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Going viral on Telegram:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Trending via Messenger:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Going viral on TikTok:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Making waves on Discord:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Going viral on Slack:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When it comes to relationships, we should stand by our partners—until they stand in Crocs! 👟😆🚫

agree, away, breakup, choice, choices, Crocs, disagreement, fashion, humor, just, okay, relationship, sh, throw, wear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

0

2 months ago

activity, beach, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, Jaws, movie, preparation, vacation, watching
Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

0

2 months ago

comfort, humor, i, know, meal, movie, outfit, preference, relatable, rewatch, routine, self-care
I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moments, care, comfort, comfortable, dental, dental care, dental hygienist, extra, extra pay, humor, hygienist, i, moments, pay, silence
Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

0

3 days ago

brief, existential, existential question, hang, hang out, i, love, moment, people, point, question, reflection, sometimes
People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

0

4 months ago

2, 5, age, baby, comparison, drink, humor, lifestyle, party, people
Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

0

2 months ago

again, bedtime, brain, friend, hello, humor, laughing, night, old, once, sleep, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Twitch this month:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

75 shares on Discord this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

51 shares on Discord this month:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Just shared via Facebook:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Trending via Instagram:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Just shared via Twitch:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Making waves on Messenger:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨