48 funny throw quotes - Wordgag

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

May 23, 2026

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

May 23, 2026

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

May 22, 2026

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

May 22, 2026

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

May 22, 2026

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

May 22, 2026

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

May 22, 2026

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

May 21, 2026

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

May 21, 2026

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

May 21, 2026

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

May 21, 2026

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

May 21, 2026

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

May 20, 2026

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

May 20, 2026

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

May 20, 2026

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

May 20, 2026

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

May 20, 2026

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

May 20, 2026

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

May 20, 2026

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

May 19, 2026

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

May 19, 2026

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

May 19, 2026

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

May 19, 2026

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

May 18, 2026

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

May 18, 2026

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

Apr 1, 2026

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Apr 1, 2026

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Mar 31, 2026

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Mar 31, 2026

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Mar 31, 2026

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Mar 31, 2026

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Mar 30, 2026

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Mar 30, 2026

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Mar 30, 2026

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Mar 29, 2026

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Mar 29, 2026

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Mar 28, 2026

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Mar 28, 2026

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Mar 27, 2026

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Mar 27, 2026