48 funny throw quotes - Wordgag

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

May 30, 2026

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

May 30, 2026

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

May 30, 2026

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

May 30, 2026

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

May 30, 2026

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

May 29, 2026

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

May 29, 2026

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

May 28, 2026

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

May 28, 2026

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

May 28, 2026

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

May 28, 2026

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

May 27, 2026

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

May 27, 2026

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

May 27, 2026

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

May 26, 2026

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

May 26, 2026

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

May 25, 2026

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

May 25, 2026

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

May 24, 2026

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

May 24, 2026

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

May 24, 2026

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

May 23, 2026

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

May 23, 2026

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

May 23, 2026

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

May 23, 2026

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

May 23, 2026

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

May 23, 2026

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

May 23, 2026

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

May 23, 2026

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

May 23, 2026

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

May 22, 2026

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

May 22, 2026

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

May 22, 2026

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

May 22, 2026

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

May 22, 2026

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

May 21, 2026

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

May 21, 2026

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

May 21, 2026

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

May 21, 2026

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

May 21, 2026