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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,631

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Shared recently on Telegram:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Shared recently on X:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Trending via Facebook:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Just landed via YouTube:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This kid was really ahead of their time—dreaming of inboxes instead of ice cream trucks! 📧😄

check, childhood, code, digital, digital life, email, ever, humor, i, life, online, online security, security, technology, verification, verification code, wanted, young

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

2 months ago
catching, elusive, ghost, humor, i, me, move, movement, person, personality, rare
Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

1 month ago
adult, exhaustion, here, humor, over, request, responsibility, someone, tired, too
A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

3 weeks ago
adult, always, being, chore, cleaning, daily, daily chore, day, gone, i, kitchen, matter, never, responsibility, takeout, thing
Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

1 month ago
advice, bad, bad people, honesty, humor, people, promise, sure, tell, tomorrow
I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

1 month ago
attitude, dark, dark humor, here, humor, irony, joy, just, little, mood, optimism, positivity, resilience, spread, trying, while, world, wrong
Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

3 months ago
comparison, cube, funny comparison, ice, ice cube, laptop, melting, outside, sunbathing, trying, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Seen just now on Messenger:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Shared recently on Threads:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

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Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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