Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Seen just now on Slack:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Making waves on Discord:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Live now on Reddit:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Just landed via Messenger:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Is leaving their number on a missing persons report still too much? 📞🤔❤️

act, again, always, breakup, contact, final, final act, humor, i, irony, love, memory, never, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

0

2 months ago

communication, good, humor, irony, listener, listening, need, nodding, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills
For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

0

2 hours ago

act, again, always, breakup, contact, final, final act, humor, i, irony, love, memory, never, think
Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

0

2 months ago

companionship, dull, flirt, fun, humor, life, relationship, someone
Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

0

6 months ago

day, energetic, feeling, humor, i, maybe, morning, parallel, parallel universe, refreshed, somewhere, thinking, tiredness, universe, wake, wake up, wishful, wishful thinking
Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

0

2 months ago

90s, back, flight, humor, looking, nostalgia, ticket, tickets, time, time travel, travel
Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

0

2 months ago

bring, cops, demand, hours, humor, love, me, relationship, time, urgency

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

95 shares on X this month:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

32 shares on Threads this month:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

23 shares on Discord this month:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Trending via Messenger:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Making waves on Threads:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Just shared via Threads:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.