41 Funny contact quotes

Funny contact quotes 😂 bring a splash of humor to those everyday connections 📱✨ Whether you’re texting, calling, or just saving numbers, these witty lines add a playful twist to your contacts list 😜📞 Ready to giggle every time you scroll through your phone? Dive into a world where contacts aren’t just names—they’re pure entertainment! 🎉📲

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Commentary:
Locking eyes over a hot dog showdown 🍴👀🌭 Let the awkwardness begin!

Going no contact with myself.

Commentary:
Guess it's time to ghost my own thoughts for a while!

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Commentary:
Is leaving their number on a missing persons report still too much? 📞🤔❤️

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Commentary:
Looks like the manufacturer might have a long waitlist for attitude adjustments! 😂📞👩‍🔧

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Commentary:
That's the moment when "I do" meets mockumentary magic! 🎥💍👀

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Commentary:
Haha, I've reached expert level at using my phone as an invisibility cloak to dodge "talkers" in public! 📵🦸‍♂️🙈

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Commentary:
When they give you that gaze, it's either deep wisdom or they remembered where they hid your snacks! 👀😂

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Commentary:
Well, at least now I know where to keep my snacks during awkward conversations! 😂🙈 #Priorities

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Commentary:
Avoiding eye contact like I'm in a banana witness protection program 😂🍌🚫👀

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Commentary:
Going full ghost mode: calories 0, drama 0, peace of mind 1000% 👻✌️

Wordgag

10,000+ Funny Quotes

41 Funny contact quotes

Going no contact with myself.

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.