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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1131 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,293

Funny Quotes Topics

14,204

Funny Quotes Images

11,293

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Live now on Snapchat:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Trending via X:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Just shared via Telegram:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Making waves on WeChat:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Seen just now on Slack:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Home » Funny Staying In Bed Quotes

Funny staying in bed quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1131 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,293

Funny Quotes Topics

14,204

Funny Quotes Images

11,293

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Making waves on Pinterest:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Trending via TikTok:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Trending via Pinterest:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Going viral on Twitch:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

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