Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Milk or be milked.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Seen just now on X:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Live now on Telegram:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Spotted on Slack:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Trending via YouTube:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Spotted on Facebook:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

3 days ago

Humorous quote about chaos in San Francisco with spiderwebs and skeletons everywhere.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Spider-Man's vacation home has truly taken over San Francisco 🕷️🕸️ Who knew skeletons were part of the city's new sidewalk landscaping plan? 💀 Change is definitely needed, or else we might have to start giving out arachnid and anatomy tours! 🏙️ #SpookySanFran

bad, business, change, every, francisco, God, humor, just, neighborhood, never, san, San Francisco, seen, sidewalks, skeleton, spiderweb, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

53 shares on X this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

43 shares on Threads this month:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting a new life today, bye.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Just landed via TikTok:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Making waves on Slack:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Shared recently on Threads:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Going viral on Twitch:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Just shared via WeChat:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

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