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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Live now on Slack:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Just landed via WeChat:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Reported on TikTok:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!
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Commentary:
Looks like Spider-Man's vacation home has truly taken over San Francisco 🕷️🕸️ Who knew skeletons were part of the city's new sidewalk landscaping plan? 💀 Change is definitely needed, or else we might have to start giving out arachnid and anatomy tours! 🏙️ #SpookySanFran

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Trending via YouTube:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Seen just now on Discord:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Seen just now on Telegram:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Reported on YouTube:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Trending via Facebook:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Shared recently on Reddit:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

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