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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

335 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,928

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,928

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Trending via Snapchat:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Just shared via Discord:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Spotted on Instagram:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you finally claim the entire bed but then ruin it with a rogue pillow move 😂🛌💥🦒 #SleepAdventures

alone, bed, different, discomfort, feels, i, know, last, means, myself, neck, neck pain, night, pain, sleep, spot, weird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

1 month ago

biting, decades, eating, even, example, experience, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, mistake, perfect, screw, screw up, still, tongue, tongue biting, while
Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

1 month ago

20, account, exclusivity, followers, girl, girls, hot, hot girl, humor, Instagram, media, private, private account, social, social media
Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

4 months ago

being, child, childhood, curiosity, follows, funny thought, me, miss, moon, nostalgia, thought, why, wonder, wondering
It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

1 month ago

cleanup, couple, declutter, electronic, electronics, humor, okay, organization, past, rid, storage, tech, things
I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

1 month ago

account, anxiety, attack, bank, bank account, financial, financial stress, humor, i, me, money, panic, panic attack, personification, stress, wonder
Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

1 month ago

boss, communication, distraction, humor, knows, office, saying, strategy, stuff, thinking, walks, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

Just landed via Threads:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Spotted on Threads:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Broadcasted on X:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

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Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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