Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

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I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

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I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

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I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.