Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.
  • It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.
  • Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.
  • The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.
  • Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.
  • I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.