I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!” Posted onMay 20, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:When Santa needs an emergency stop at the North Pole gym ππ ππͺ Related funny posts π€ Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing. I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max. Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa. There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want. I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I donβt live in a commercial.