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New funny quotes: 24 this month

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Updated: Jun 29, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

Funny stoned quotes

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Posted onMay 20, 2026

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