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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,778

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Just landed via YouTube:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Going viral on Discord:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Trending via Twitch:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Trending via Instagram:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Next, I'm planning a heart-to-heart with my toaster—heard it gives bread-st advice! 🥯🤖😂"

Amazon, asked, ChatGPT, communication, confiding, corporate, exxon, Exxon Mobil, humor, humor communication, humor relationship, i, inside, inside joke, irony, joke, McDonald’s, mobil, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

1 month ago
ages, bet, cool, cooler, doom, doom scroll, entertainment, history, humor, i, irony, meant, middle, Middle Ages, scroll, something, technology
Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

1 month ago
humor, i, need, Olympics, order, Paris, question, seen, sports, Tokyo, understand
Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

1 month ago
bottle, condiment, fast, faster, food, humor, ketchup, kitchen, little, nothing, only, want
Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

1 month ago
close, closer, connectivity, digital, friends, friendship, humor, keep, life, media, modern, modern life, smartphone, social, social media, technology
The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

2 months ago
aliens, channel, development, going, history, History Channel, humanity, humor, instrumental, learn, learning, television
Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

2 months ago
comparison, fertilizer, food, humor, i, Jesus, not the same, same, transformation, turn, water, wine

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Shared recently on Discord:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Going bananas on X:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

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“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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