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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,016

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Live now on Facebook:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Seen just now on Discord:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Just landed via Slack:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dropping it is the easy part—retrieving it? That's where the real workout happens! 😂🙌🔥

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

1 month ago
activity, around, backyard, every, flashlight, funny activity, here, high, hour, humor, i, know, let, neighbors, power, scan, security, tolerance, weirdness
The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

1 month ago
30s, age, boring, hottest, hottest thing, humor, man, thing
I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

1 day ago
argument, belief, Christmas, good, holiday, humor, i, Santa, should, skepticism, still, stop, tradition, why
Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

1 month ago
babe, book, books, concern, conversation, humor, ok, partner, reading, relationship, unread, unread book
I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

1 month ago
adore, change, disappointment, disillusionment, hate, i, just, listening, music, musical, musical taste, personal, personal preference, preference, rapper, shift, taste, used
I like my bed more than I like most people.

1 month ago
bed, comfort, humor, introvert, people, preference, relationship, sarcasm, sleep

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

The shitshow must go on.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Making waves on YouTube:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Making waves on X:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Spotted on Threads:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

Shared recently on Twitch:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Just landed via YouTube:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Weirdos gonna weird.

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

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I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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