Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Spotted on YouTube:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Just landed via Threads:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Live now on Facebook:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Just shared via Telegram:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Broadcasted on Threads:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Guess I'm just trying to reach 'full charge' like my phone, but instead I’m vibrating more than it ever does! ☕🔋😅

advice, caffeine, coffee, energy, good, health, hear, humor, i, know, much, needs, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

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2 months ago

autobiography, biography, difference, humor, literature, self-explanatory, wordplay, writing
You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

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2 months ago

aging, body, heat, humidity, humor, self-deprecation, steam, think, wrinkles
Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

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2 months ago

bad, break, break up, feeling, humor, love, music, relatable, relationship, song, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift
Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

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2 months ago

breakfast, craving, eating, food, humor, i, sandwich, whenever, wish
Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

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2 months ago

absolutely, awkward, awkward moment, field, guy, humor, moment, pervert, reason, single, single guy, situation, sunflower, sunflower field, unusual, unusual situation
I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

0

5 months ago

awkward, awkward silence, care, communication, conversation, humor, i, interaction, introvert, silence, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

43 shares on X this month:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

48 shares on X this month:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

89 shares on Discord this month:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Live now on Snapchat:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Spotted on X:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨