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Commentary:
"Whoever said 'adulting is easy' clearly never met me! 🤷‍♂️ Maybe I'll just stick to being a professional napper instead. 💤 #AdultingFail"

adult, adulthood, choice, humor, i, just, life, life choice, me, not working, responsibility, thought, work, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

0

2 months ago

asked, autumn, civilization, collapse, fall, humor, i, me, meant, misunderstanding, moment, plans, realize, sarcasm, seasonal, someone
The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

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2 months ago

5, break, career, career break, enlightenment, gap, humor, i, job, job gap, meditation, reach, resume, resume gap, self-improvement, trying
What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

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2 months ago

always, business, context, dream, dreams, getting, having, just, point, sex, sex dream, wake, wake up
I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

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2 months ago

comment, friend, Goofy, humor, i, know, misunderstanding, movie, never, saw, scary, Scary Movie, scream, seen
In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

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2 months ago

address, arrif, email, frustration, hell, joke, never, technology, verify, wait
I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

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2 months ago

children, family, fear, humor, joke, kid, kids, parenting, sex

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on WeChat this month:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Going viral on Discord:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Just shared via Instagram:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Just shared via Slack:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Just landed via Slack:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Just shared via Telegram:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Making waves on Threads:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨