Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who wants to go out with a bang when you can go out with a grand piano solo 🎹 CRASH landing? Watch out composers, this person is aiming for a smashing finale! 💥😆"

absurdity, age, death, die, fall, head, hope, humor, i, irony, old, old age, piano, something, stupid, want, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

0

2 months ago

activity, exercise, fun, fun activity, humor, i, leisure, need, shopping
November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

0

2 months ago

2, afternoon, daylight, funny observation, humor, just, morning, night, November, observation, seasonal, time, winter
“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

0

2 months ago

exhaustion, humor, long week, me, relatable, sarcasm, Tuesday, week, weekday
I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

0

2 months ago

alien, call, culture, humor, humorist, i, joke, movie, movie joke, parody, pop, pop culture, sci-fi, term, xenomorph
Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

0

2 months ago

baby, baby talk, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, over, plant, plants, talk, talking
That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

0

2 months ago

break, cancel, canceled, free, free time, gift, gods, humor, meeting, ping, relief, surprise, time, unexpected

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

49 shares on X this month:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

73 shares on Threads this month:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

13 shares on Threads this month:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Spotted on Slack:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Making waves on Threads:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Shared recently on Threads:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨