I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.